The Fabulous Life of Jobin Hume

The best show on TV

OK - it is only the last two seasons that I have been into it, but So You Think You Can Dance is SO MUCH BETTER than Idol I can't stand it.  I love this show.  I don't know anything about dance, but I am totally into it.  Now that I have said that, I can't help but cross my fingers that they shed the 3 tap dancers and the asshat who named himself "Legacy" immediately.  If I could be pleasantly surprised with a surprise 4 way elimination 45 minutes from now that would be just great.

I am behind as I post this thanks to TiVo, but I really have to assume I won't love the sound of tap shoes any more 2 hours from now than I do now.

Also, Mollie - you are officially on notice.  Get less irritating right away or Philip gets to stay.  He has to get rid of the shoes, but he can stay.

PS - Even though I was thrilled to see Paula Abdul leave Idol, I wouldn't mind her on this show.  I have to assume this bit is going somewhere.

The ugliest Americans ever

I never thought that there would be a couple on the Amazing Race more objectionable than Jonathan Baker and Victoria Fuller but I was wrong. Lance and Keri take it to a whole new level.  Not only are they abusive to each other, they are taking it out on the locals.  I thought that tiny Vietnamese lady was going to have a stroke when he came storming through there and knocked over her chair tonight.  Seriously.  I can't believe he didn't get penalized for that.  The only thing worse was when she was shrieking to cheer him on when he was literally ripping a VCR apart with his bare hands, because "that is what a man would do".  I thought Phil was going to burst with laughter when Lance challenged him to wrestle right there on the mat.  I couldn't love these two more though.  Go Globetrotters.

Still my favorite reality show ever.

40 isn't too old

Marcy's friend gave her some last minute tickets to the Vikings game today.  She called originally to see if I could babysit - but between the time she left the message and the time I called her back, she not only had a babysitter, but an extra ticket so I got to go with!!  OMG it was really fun.

First of all, it was me, Marcy, her 17 year old Norweigan exchange student Mats, and her 16 year old neighbor Antoine - you know, my usual posse.  It wasn't until 11am that we decided to go, and didn't wake up Antoine until 11:30, so we were a few minutes late, but really hardly at all given those circumstances. Antoine, by the way, has French parents and was born in Chicago, although his father currently works in the Congo and does watch NFL games from there.  As a result, Marcy called Norway to tell Mat's uncle to watch for us on TV, but apparently Vikings games aren't regularly broadcast there.  Congo 1, Norway 0

When we got there, we found that we were on the 40 yard line in the 14th row - thanks Marcy's friend!

It was a good thing Antoine was there because Marcy and I both enjoy watching but aren't really in a football-rules-explaining position.

It was totally fun and Brett Farve is totally not too old to be playing.  I apologize for the snide remarks I have made on this topic in the past.

Here we are - I'm looking all shiny, since I got dressed in 2.5 minutes and apparently skipped the personalizer - don't use this as an example of Arbonne makeup.

We had as much fun watching the crazy people surrounding us - those pix to follow

How did this get lost in the shuffle?

OK - I am just now watching the MTV Video Music Awards from Sunday night. Because there has been so much talk about Kanye-gate 2009 no one has mentioned the BIZARRO public therapy session Madonna conducted at the beginning of the ceremony.

1 - no one needs a lecture about how we abandoned Michael Jackson.  He caused his own problems.

2 - She looked like a wax statue.  Less is more when you are injecting your face. And back-combing your hair.  And lecturing the audience of millions.

3 - Speaking of wax statue - as I have said before.  I don't get Lady Gaga.  She is growing on me as in I sing along on the radio, etc - but then she breaks out some nonsense like this and I just don't even know what to say or where to look. 

4 - I like it that Madonna is totally somber and yet we get crowd shots of Pink checking her blackberry.  I feel you Pink.

5 - Janet looks totally fierce!

6 - I usually can't stand Katy Perry, and yet I am loving her singing Queen!

Ten minutes in, I am loving this show - how did ALL of this get pushed aside by yet another Kanye West outburst?  I am a fan, but seriously, isn't it more noteworthy when he doesn't embarass himself?  How did I not watch this live?  Next year if you could just remind me that I wanted to watch live, that would be awesome.

Is this even possible?

Watching Hillary Clinton on Meet the Press.  Is there any chance that "broken elbow" is code for face lift?  I am not even kdding.  She looks great, at a MINIMUM botox and fillers.  The difference between March and July is shocking.  I realize one is a close up and one isn't, but come on - decide for yourself:

March: 

July:

Attn: Candie and Marcy

I'm sorry. 

For many months in the spring you both reminded me regularly to watch "The Real Housewives of NYC" and I said I was going to, but that was a lie.  I left the whole season of episodes sitting on the TIVO ignored.  I didn't really care about these people.

For some reason I started watching this the other day and I CAN"T STAND IT IT IS SO AWESOME. Why-oh-Why didn't I listen to you earlier?  This is the best season EVER.  Just in the first 2.5 episodes:

• Kelly walking right by Ramona at the horse show

• Alex and Creepy Simon's interior designer barely tolerating them during the first meeting

• Alex and Creepy Simon's backyard blow up pool

• Ramona attacking Luanne re: boarding school

• Jill and Alex fighting on the phone with Bethanny as a greek chorus stirring the pot in the background

• Countess laughing at the teenager's etiquette question as she is promoting her book on etiquette

• Alex and Creepy Simon's Creepy Massage.  Seriously.  I am deaf and blind now.  Did I need a close up of his nipple?  No, I did not.

• Ramona: "I become a maven on any topic or subject I get involved in"

• The picture of Ramona in Cosmo from the 90s

• Countess grabbing the mic and telling everyone at the charity dinner to shut up and then talking through the speech anyway

• Nearly everything that comes out of Bethanny's mouth including, but not limited to:

  1. "Jill - you look like a fruit salad";
  2. "Jill is wearing $30K of jewelry at the beach"
  3. "Why do I have to pay for Countesses surfing lessons?"
  4. "Countess wore her best hag outfit to the tea party"
  5. "Being the authority on class is really holding yourself to a high standard.  That's a glass house waiting to shatter"

• Manic Ramona yelling about how "People who cheat think you cheat, people who lie, think you lie" while her head spun around on her neck

It pains me to have to go to bed and save the other episodes for later.  Again, I am sorry.

Things I don't care about

Me: I don't care about Jon and Kate plus eight
Candie: I do. They are on my TV and I pay to watch them. That makes it my business.

This is the problem. Other things I don't care about that Candie keeps me posted on include Candy and Tori Spelling, and several series of The Real Housewives... The pop culture thing I care the very very very very least about is Heidi and Spencer. Who decided they should be famous? Why am I subjected to them so often?

I can't believe this is what is bringing me out of blogging hibernation

This isn't life changing or anything, but I just couldn't keep it in.

I am watching a commercial about how you can't use non-digital signals for your TV after a few weeks. How anyone doesn't know this by now, I am unclear.  Who is paying for these commercials?

Anyway - this one is mangificant because they are showing someone taking off the rabbit ear antenna from their PLASMA TV.  Are we to believe there are people shelling out $1000+ for a TV that use tin foil to get the signal?

Seriously.

The scariest show I have ever seen

OK - what brings me out of a 5 month blogging hiatus?  THE SCARIEST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN!  Have you been watching "Ice Road Truckers"?  Seriously, I need a Xanax.  I am watching this show and clutching a pillow because I am just in a panic that one of these trucks is going to go through the ice.

I am officially sorry for every time I may have thought I had a difficult day at work.

The only topic for debate - who has it worse, the Ice Road Truckers or the crab fishermen on the Deadliest Catch?  Discuss.

In other news, it appears that Independence day is also back-to-blogging day, because I announced my return to blogging in July of 2006 as well.  My neighbor is no less enamored with fireworks this year than back then.

Martha Martha Martha

I have posted in the past about my love for Martha Stewart.  She is out of her mind and wound tighter than a drum, but I love her anyway because she just keeps going.  Completely down the wrong path, but there is something admirable about her delusional conviction.

I haven't seen her on TV in a long time, but she had some guests on her show that my TiVo knew I would love, so it captured an AWESOME interchange for me.  It was actually horrible, but it was awesome in terms of giving me something to blog about.

She had this couple, The Ulle's, on promoting their new show, "1000 Places to See Before You Die", which is based on a great book that 3 people have given me as a gift.  So, clearly, it is meant for me.

Anyway, they went to 100 places in 13 countries and they were here to promote it.  She showed a few pictures from their travels.  Then, and I swear I am not making this up, she announces to them that they haven't been anywhere really good and breaks out HER OWN VACATION PICTURES.  Like, screw you Ulle's, I don't need your stupid show to see the world.  She gave them the total smackdown.  She said, "I can't believe you went to Peru and didn't hike the Inca Trail.  You can't see this view unless you hike".  She went through every place they had been and showed pictures of herself there, critiqued their choice of visiting during that particular month, and then rubbed their noses in the fact that they haven't been to the Galapagos Islands.

It was the snarkiest thing I have ever seen in my whole life.  She is like a cartoon character of a control freak.  Streisand has nothing on the diva-licious Ms. Stewart.

The Ulle's did an admirable job of holding it together.  I would have burst out laughing.