The Fabulous Life of Jobin Hume

Let the games begin

I can't believe it is finally here.  Ashley and Aaron are getting married and we are looking good.  Professional photos to follow - but here is a funny one of my girls before we start crying

 

My favorite people in the whole world
 

Courtney as the school principal 

New Requirement

I have had mashed potato bars before but never as yummy as this. I didn't know corn could be a condiment, but it now needs to be standard.

Milestones

Last week I took a friend of mine to get her first Botox.  This is a milestone for both of us.  Her because now that seal is broken and it leads to all other kinds of vanity you didn't know you had in you.

Me because it is one thing to buy a friend a pedicure or manicure for their birthday.  This is a whole other genre - some kind of switch has been flipped.

Also, I came to the realization that I get Botox 3-4 times per year, but only go to the dentist twice per year.  While I realize this is the correct schedule, it worries me nonetheless.

40 isn't too old

Marcy's friend gave her some last minute tickets to the Vikings game today.  She called originally to see if I could babysit - but between the time she left the message and the time I called her back, she not only had a babysitter, but an extra ticket so I got to go with!!  OMG it was really fun.

First of all, it was me, Marcy, her 17 year old Norweigan exchange student Mats, and her 16 year old neighbor Antoine - you know, my usual posse.  It wasn't until 11am that we decided to go, and didn't wake up Antoine until 11:30, so we were a few minutes late, but really hardly at all given those circumstances. Antoine, by the way, has French parents and was born in Chicago, although his father currently works in the Congo and does watch NFL games from there.  As a result, Marcy called Norway to tell Mat's uncle to watch for us on TV, but apparently Vikings games aren't regularly broadcast there.  Congo 1, Norway 0

When we got there, we found that we were on the 40 yard line in the 14th row - thanks Marcy's friend!

It was a good thing Antoine was there because Marcy and I both enjoy watching but aren't really in a football-rules-explaining position.

It was totally fun and Brett Farve is totally not too old to be playing.  I apologize for the snide remarks I have made on this topic in the past.

Here we are - I'm looking all shiny, since I got dressed in 2.5 minutes and apparently skipped the personalizer - don't use this as an example of Arbonne makeup.

We had as much fun watching the crazy people surrounding us - those pix to follow

Play by play analysis

I am at my sisters bachelorette party. I am older than all these girls and more judgemental so I will be posting lots of snarky comments. Stay tuned

How did this get lost in the shuffle?

OK - I am just now watching the MTV Video Music Awards from Sunday night. Because there has been so much talk about Kanye-gate 2009 no one has mentioned the BIZARRO public therapy session Madonna conducted at the beginning of the ceremony.

1 - no one needs a lecture about how we abandoned Michael Jackson.  He caused his own problems.

2 - She looked like a wax statue.  Less is more when you are injecting your face. And back-combing your hair.  And lecturing the audience of millions.

3 - Speaking of wax statue - as I have said before.  I don't get Lady Gaga.  She is growing on me as in I sing along on the radio, etc - but then she breaks out some nonsense like this and I just don't even know what to say or where to look. 

4 - I like it that Madonna is totally somber and yet we get crowd shots of Pink checking her blackberry.  I feel you Pink.

5 - Janet looks totally fierce!

6 - I usually can't stand Katy Perry, and yet I am loving her singing Queen!

Ten minutes in, I am loving this show - how did ALL of this get pushed aside by yet another Kanye West outburst?  I am a fan, but seriously, isn't it more noteworthy when he doesn't embarass himself?  How did I not watch this live?  Next year if you could just remind me that I wanted to watch live, that would be awesome.

A brief history of the E350 (cursed??)

2006

August 2006: I earn the Mercedes from Arbonne.  Thanks Hume Nation.  Because I am short-sighted I special order a car with a black interior.

October 10, 2006: I pick up my car at 10am.  The black leather looks totally awesome.

October 10, 2006: 30 minutes after leaving the dealer, something flies off the truck in front of me, cracking the windshield so badly that it has to be replaced.  Seriously.

October 10, 2006: 20 minutes after that I get my first speeding ticket.

December 2006: I run out of gas completely in the middle of an intersection and have to wait for assistance/new gas.  Very embarrassing.

2007

January 2007: Speeding ticket #2 

March 2007: Speeding ticket #3

April 2007: Find out why black interior isn't a standard option.  Yowza was that a mistake.

Then, because I was on a diversionary program in 3 counties, I cooled it off for a while and things were smooth. I do realize these tickets are my fault, but I didn't drive one particle faster than I did in my 15+ years of driving cheap cars and never got ticketed, so perhaps I am not solely to blame for this pattern.

August 2007: Flat tire.  Completely flat, had to be replaced

October 2007: Car broken into inside my garage.  Boooooo.  Good news, perpetrator caught and went to prison for almost 4 years.  Hooray Woodbury Police!  All is forgiven re: speeding tickets

2008

Nothing to report.  Yippee!

2009

March 2009: Speeding ticket #4.  Also, expired license, but very nice sheriff let that slide, so I am still grateful to be a tax paying citizen of Washington County.

June 23, 2009: Flat tire, completely flat, in the middle of nowhere in rural Dakota County on a 100 degree day.  Turned out to need 4 new tires and a tow.

June 24, 2009: Something flies off a truck and cracks the windshield again, needing to be replaced again.

So, my questions are as follows:

1 - Am I a bad person and this is how I am being punished?

2 - Since I am really hoping number 1 isn't the case, is there some lesson I am supposed to be learning?

3 - It is a nice car, I really love it, and I love that Arbonne provides it as a reward for hard work, but maybe I was supposed to pick a different model?  They should switch to BMW?  Since that is unlikely, that leaves me with...

This car is cursed.  I am not really that superstitious, so I don't think it is true, but come on.  That is a lot of activity for one car.  The most expensive car I ever had in my life before that was $16K, so I really expected this to be drama-free.

Also - I really really try hard to look for a lesson or silver lining when things go bad.  For example, as I was sitting in the smoke filled tow truck cab in Hastings I was thinking, "at least the air conditioner didn't break down".  As I was sitting in the Goodyear dealership for SIX HOURS waiting for tires to come in and get installed, I thought "at least they got replaced before I had an accident with the kids in the car".  Also, I got a prospect out of that long wait so I thought maybe this was God's hilarious way of sending me an RVP.

But, seriously, another windshield?  I haven't had a flat tire or cracked windshield EVER.  So, two of each in 2 years?  What am I supposed to be learning here?

Ninja with a flashlight

Safety officer Steve Palmer

Since I was posting restaurant reviews anway...

The Happy Gnome:

Decent patio, but cryptic menus and lazy waitresses bug me.  For example - what would you think this description includes?

Farmer Bob Tomato Tartar

basil, capers, olio verde, garlic Crostini (capitalization theirs)

When asking useless waitress for clarification, she informs me that it is one of her two favorite SALADS on the menu, she really likes the raw tomatoes - hence the "tartar".  What would you think this is?  In my mind it is some kind of sliced tomatoes with basil and dressing and perhaps a slice of toasted bread.

I can't believe I don't have a picture to show you how much it is BRUSCHETTA.  Seriously.  Toasted bread with chopped tomatoes and shredded cheese (not mentioned) on top.  

What is wrong with whoever wrote this description?  More importantly what is wrong with the waitress that she would describe this as a salad?

Perhaps this post is less lame if I had a picture.  Trust me, you would be irritated as well.

Conversely, I inhaled Terri's burger which she didn't love but I did, so you can give it a try for yourself.

PS - I don't need flash in a restaurant website.  Thanks.

Wow

I have mentioned this before, that I blog in my head all the time, so I forget how long it has been since I posted.  6 months! So much has happened:

• The rest of my trip - Venice, Split, Amsterdam
• My total love affair with the Kindle
• Christmas
• New Years
• Birthdays
• Caribbean cruise with whole family including adjacent Miami adventures
• Ashley and Aaron getting engaged
• New York City
• Las Vegas
• David Cassidy/David Cook Concert
• incident at the post office - this is a good one, stay tuned
• awesome new purse (2)
• losing 40 pounds
• Another speeding ticket.  Seriously.
• so many cute kid stories
• Knee injury as enlightening window into the life of uninsured America - something has to change with that system!
• Several noteworthy nights out
• The Vanity Exercise that left me looking like I got slapped by the devil
• dad getting trapped in his room and breaking out via tools passed up the side of the house
• The travesty of choosing Kris Allen over Adam Lambert.

I always say I am going to catch up on everything and it doesn't happen, so stay tuned for some edited selections from this list