The Fabulous Life of Jobin Hume

I know I have threatened this before...

But I really am going to blog on this trip.  Topics I will be writing off line and posting later include:

 - My dad's bad idea for a present for my mom

 - The dramatic escapade of my iPhone

 - why you shouldn't try to learn Yoga on the high seas

 - the lady who almost died in the theatre next to me last night (seriously)

 - The improvements on Celebrity since my last trip

 - The fact that my brother has a special phone from the secret service and a golf cart with a flashing light

More later.... I am off to Sitka!

Jobin

Private Message to Ashley Hume

(Insert Rocky theme song here)

My new best friend...

Yes, I know I should be looking at sea otters or bald eagles or something right now.  I just couldn't wait to start gloating.

The scariest show I have ever seen

OK - what brings me out of a 5 month blogging hiatus?  THE SCARIEST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN!  Have you been watching "Ice Road Truckers"?  Seriously, I need a Xanax.  I am watching this show and clutching a pillow because I am just in a panic that one of these trucks is going to go through the ice.

I am officially sorry for every time I may have thought I had a difficult day at work.

The only topic for debate - who has it worse, the Ice Road Truckers or the crab fishermen on the Deadliest Catch?  Discuss.

In other news, it appears that Independence day is also back-to-blogging day, because I announced my return to blogging in July of 2006 as well.  My neighbor is no less enamored with fireworks this year than back then.

My favorite picture EVER

I was just at my parents house and we were looking at old photos.  I am making an albumn of the very best ones, but I couldn't wait for that to post this one.  Ashley Barnett Hume, circa January 1989.  EXCELLENT HAIR

Not to be a nervous nellie, but.....

Sign seen at a gas station in Maui:

Parasailing, regularly $69, now only $9

I feel it should cost more than that.

At sea

Ashley and I leaned out the window to see the pilot boat. Candie
grabbed our jeans pockets for dear life in case we fall out. Clearly
she is stronger than I thought if she can catch us both. Sent from my iPhone

In Fort Lauderdale

OK - we are in Ft. Lauderdale.  You know how sometimes they will focus a camera on a flower for like 2 weeks and then speed it up so you can watch the flower bloom.  Next time I come to Florida I am going to take a picture of my hair every 10 minutes so you can see how it puffs up.  When I got off the plane I had supermodel hair (I had it colored really dark and mysterious this week - we will see how long that lasts) and within 1 hour it is puffed up like 3 times that size.  By tomorrow it will be in full on Diana Ross mode and it isn't even raining.

We had a really interesting limo driver today.  He was in the Army in Vietnam and then last year he was in Afghanistan for 15 months - so I am stumped as to his age.  He was putting in wells and purifying water. He said that when they were done, the kids thought the water was poisoned because they had never seen clear water before.  The things I take for granted! He also said that at least 3 times a week some local person would thank him for being there and helping them build up their villages.  That felt really rewarding.  It is true that we do not see this stuff on TV.  He said there is no way to compare Afghanistan and Iraq because Iraqis are totally educated and so of course there is political strife and in Afghanistan once you get outside the 2 big cities people are living like they did 2000 years ago and they are just focused on daily needs - they aren't concerning themselves with the political landscape.  It was interesting to hear his perspective.

Now we are at the Renaissance Fort Lauderdale.  We totally hit the jackpot with this place.  We got two rooms on priceline for less than the regular cost of 1.  It is super nice, everyone is super friendly and helpful, spotlessly clean, and room service is practically free compared to most hotels. I would totally recommend this hotel and stay here again - I am about to crash in this super comfortable bed.  We can see the ships from our rooms and we are all more excited than ever.  I am using the word SUPER alot because when they answer the phone they answer it "It is a super Sunday here at the Renaissance Fort Lauderdale."  I assume they have a new word for every day - Marvelous Monday...Candie is going to institute this in their office - we will have to see how this goes.

Ashley and Dad have gone to the casino.  Apparently they can't wait until tomorrow.  I am going to bed because, as per usual, I only slept 3 hours last night since I didn't start packing until 10pm.  Someday I will be a more proactive packer.  Miss A has her Emmy Dress(TM) as usual.  I am still jealous and it has been 2 years since she got to go.

One more day until the fun begins!

PS - Tie Hooker is still the funniest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

Whew!

So much to report!  I am at the airport with my parents and sister - we are finally going on a cruise.  Honestly I don't think I have been this excited for a vacation in years...it has been busy lately - good busy, but nuts none the less.

We are going to Ft Lauderdale today, then the cruise tomorrow which takes us to Grand Cayman, Aruba, Cartegena, Panama Canal and Cozumel.  Whenever Ashley and I cruise there are awesome tales of action and adventure - so sit back and enjoy!

So, I am at the airport and I just ran into Judy and Tim Dove - some of my favorite people ever - so that was fun already.

Actually, the funniest thing I have ever heard in my entire life happened this morning.  Flash back in time to 5 days ago - Ashley wasn't going on this this trip - she was going to go to Hawaii with me in January.  Then, on Tuesday, she decided it would be better work-wise to go now.  I called Bob IV to ask him to check in on Courtney because my mom is all guilt ridden that those two aren't going.  I am not guilt ridden since C gets a free first class trip to Maui next month courtesy of Arbonne.

Anyway, I called Bob IV and when the light bulb came on that Ashley wasn't going to be home for Christmas he said "WHAT!  When did this happen"  Me: "Just now" Him: "Jackpot!  I am going to get a new car, a new computer, a Thai hooker and a pound of Meth for Christmas".  He let loose with that from the mayors office, by the way!  He knows how guilty mom feels at all times so this was his joke about what she would buy.

I thought it was hilarious so I told her about it.

Flash forward to this morning - Courtney is driving me, mom and dad to the airport and Dad hasn't heard this story yet so I told him.  We all laughed.  Then, you could see the light bulb go on over Candie's head and she shrieked "Wait - do you mean a prostitute!?!?!".  Yes, mom - what did you think.  She thought he wanted a tie rack for his closet with hooks to hang the ties.  A Tie Hooker.  I almost peed in my pants laughing.  Then, she starts in with "Why would he want a hooker".  She was more concerned about that than the CRYSTAL METH.

Way to prioritize.

It is going to be an awesome trip....

I know you have heard it all before

But I really am going to be a better blogger this time.  Stay tuned for:

• a new design
• a new URL
• maps and details of upcoming trips
• stories about: party mix eve, the time I DID NOT leave my family alone in the cold and the dark, cute stories of my nieces and nephews, my adventures with my new iPhone, the drama of getting my purse stolen and more

I've been taking a poll

Ever since this story about Senator Larry Craig broke I have been polling male travelers at the Minneapolis Airport to see if they have been minding their own business and all of a sudden sex broke out in the next stall.  It has been 100% negative.  So, realizing this isn't a scientific study, and that this guy is a total pinhead who should resign, my question is this - should our tax dollars have been paying for this sting?  Is this really the biggest problem going on at MSP?  Couldn't they investigate BDJ and her abuses of power?