The Fabulous Life of Jobin Hume

Not that I'm not anxious for a change of subject...

But I am surprisingly bummed that this is what wiped Michael Jackson off the cnn.com home page.  For two reasons:

1 - this guy seems normal and this is a random thing that you could have a "minor" head bump and then die 2 days later.  Unlike drug overdosing, this could happen to anybody. 

2 - Shouldn't it be the ongoing situation in Iran, health care or the coup in Honduras that took the headline?

Riddle me this....

I totally get it why 8 of the top 10 singles on iTunes are from Michael Jackson.  Why are the other two from the Black Eyed Peas?  And why do I have both of them?

A brief history of the E350 (cursed??)

2006

August 2006: I earn the Mercedes from Arbonne.  Thanks Hume Nation.  Because I am short-sighted I special order a car with a black interior.

October 10, 2006: I pick up my car at 10am.  The black leather looks totally awesome.

October 10, 2006: 30 minutes after leaving the dealer, something flies off the truck in front of me, cracking the windshield so badly that it has to be replaced.  Seriously.

October 10, 2006: 20 minutes after that I get my first speeding ticket.

December 2006: I run out of gas completely in the middle of an intersection and have to wait for assistance/new gas.  Very embarrassing.

2007

January 2007: Speeding ticket #2 

March 2007: Speeding ticket #3

April 2007: Find out why black interior isn't a standard option.  Yowza was that a mistake.

Then, because I was on a diversionary program in 3 counties, I cooled it off for a while and things were smooth. I do realize these tickets are my fault, but I didn't drive one particle faster than I did in my 15+ years of driving cheap cars and never got ticketed, so perhaps I am not solely to blame for this pattern.

August 2007: Flat tire.  Completely flat, had to be replaced

October 2007: Car broken into inside my garage.  Boooooo.  Good news, perpetrator caught and went to prison for almost 4 years.  Hooray Woodbury Police!  All is forgiven re: speeding tickets

2008

Nothing to report.  Yippee!

2009

March 2009: Speeding ticket #4.  Also, expired license, but very nice sheriff let that slide, so I am still grateful to be a tax paying citizen of Washington County.

June 23, 2009: Flat tire, completely flat, in the middle of nowhere in rural Dakota County on a 100 degree day.  Turned out to need 4 new tires and a tow.

June 24, 2009: Something flies off a truck and cracks the windshield again, needing to be replaced again.

So, my questions are as follows:

1 - Am I a bad person and this is how I am being punished?

2 - Since I am really hoping number 1 isn't the case, is there some lesson I am supposed to be learning?

3 - It is a nice car, I really love it, and I love that Arbonne provides it as a reward for hard work, but maybe I was supposed to pick a different model?  They should switch to BMW?  Since that is unlikely, that leaves me with...

This car is cursed.  I am not really that superstitious, so I don't think it is true, but come on.  That is a lot of activity for one car.  The most expensive car I ever had in my life before that was $16K, so I really expected this to be drama-free.

Also - I really really try hard to look for a lesson or silver lining when things go bad.  For example, as I was sitting in the smoke filled tow truck cab in Hastings I was thinking, "at least the air conditioner didn't break down".  As I was sitting in the Goodyear dealership for SIX HOURS waiting for tires to come in and get installed, I thought "at least they got replaced before I had an accident with the kids in the car".  Also, I got a prospect out of that long wait so I thought maybe this was God's hilarious way of sending me an RVP.

But, seriously, another windshield?  I haven't had a flat tire or cracked windshield EVER.  So, two of each in 2 years?  What am I supposed to be learning here?

OK, without rehashing his life

Michael Jackson died yesterday and while I remember him as a huge star when I was in elementary school, of course, we all know the issues in his recent life.

I am not even going to get into that, but rather observe the following about the media coverage of this:

1. If someone had said his name 2 days ago most people would respond "freakshow" or "child molester" "hotel-balcony-baby-dangler" or "plastic surgery cautionary tale", but now he was the greatest entertainer of all time 
2. The summary of the media coverage for me, is the fact that the Today Show is interviewing COREY FELDMAN, where they dug him up from I have no idea.  In any event, he is introduced as a lifelong friend of MJ.  Then one minute later in the interview it comes out that he hasn't talked to or seen Michael in SEVEN YEARS.  Way to score the big story Today Show 

This does give me an opportunity to review the outfit I wore to school in 4th grade:

1. Michael Jackson t-shirt with the Billie Jean picture, pink 
2. Lee Jeans, Pin-stripe 
3. Earrings, White Sparkly Glove 
4. Nike Tennis Shoes, Powder Blue Swish 

I was the coolest, most badass fourth grader in town.   Pinning jeans into a really unflattering sillhouette didn't come into play until sixth grade or I assure you that would have been in the mix.

Off to their grand tour!

I got to see some friends off on a world tour.  OK, a European Tour but with a 7-year old and TWO 5-year olds, I bet it will seem like a world tour.  Follow the escapades of the Palmers in Norway Spain and Sweden (yes, in that order) at http://scandahovianvacation.typepad.com/

Because they are awesome friends, they are bringing a few things such as this bug zapper.  I can imagine asking someone to bring a sweater, or box of chocolates, but this is a BIG FAVOR!!  You will notice that it is bigger than 2 suitcases put together.

Here they are on the way!

Ninja with a flashlight

Safety officer Steve Palmer

Travel Map

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Things I don't care about

Me: I don't care about Jon and Kate plus eight
Candie: I do. They are on my TV and I pay to watch them. That makes it my business.

This is the problem. Other things I don't care about that Candie keeps me posted on include Candy and Tori Spelling, and several series of The Real Housewives... The pop culture thing I care the very very very very least about is Heidi and Spencer. Who decided they should be famous? Why am I subjected to them so often?

Good Auntie

Me: we can go anywhere you want for lunch
Them: old country buffet! (with great enthusiasm)
Me: I don't know where that is
Jordyn: ask the talking computer in your car

Sadly, it did know where to find one so here we are. Candie who claims to love them was unable to attend. Nice.

Since I was posting restaurant reviews anway...

The Happy Gnome:

Decent patio, but cryptic menus and lazy waitresses bug me.  For example - what would you think this description includes?

Farmer Bob Tomato Tartar

basil, capers, olio verde, garlic Crostini (capitalization theirs)

When asking useless waitress for clarification, she informs me that it is one of her two favorite SALADS on the menu, she really likes the raw tomatoes - hence the "tartar".  What would you think this is?  In my mind it is some kind of sliced tomatoes with basil and dressing and perhaps a slice of toasted bread.

I can't believe I don't have a picture to show you how much it is BRUSCHETTA.  Seriously.  Toasted bread with chopped tomatoes and shredded cheese (not mentioned) on top.  

What is wrong with whoever wrote this description?  More importantly what is wrong with the waitress that she would describe this as a salad?

Perhaps this post is less lame if I had a picture.  Trust me, you would be irritated as well.

Conversely, I inhaled Terri's burger which she didn't love but I did, so you can give it a try for yourself.

PS - I don't need flash in a restaurant website.  Thanks.